Inwardness & Beyond Part 2, May 13, 2003

David: Feels good just to cut doesn’t it? Does that feel good? When you realize that I don’t have to go on? My discourse isn’t built upon saying things in a causative sequence. I just talk. I could either be a lazy thinker, or who knows what.

Are you with me anyway? When I drop out of the field of speech, does it really matter? You see it’s an effort for me to keep this up. On the one hand I’m falling like a pail or a bucket down into the well and gravity is driving this bucket down toward the water. And then on the other hand, there’s a feeling like, hmm, there may be something to say. There may be something fun about saying, about talking. I’m kind of caught in an interesting mood.

See when I say I have no teaching, this is what I mean. There’s nothing for me to talk about.

I have no ideals to propagate. I have no approach to share. Just spending a little time together without any motive. It’s difficult for some who may come in craving a teaching or craving a particular expression. It could be very difficult. Sit waiting and yearning for something. That kind of approach is just really wanting to be stimulated; you want someone to entertain you, keep on entertaining the active mind. Where as what’s happening here is that we freely move forth between that non-cognitive state of being and that state of thinking, the state of just….experience. You see what I mean? We’ll find each other some how. We’ll meet each other, it doesn’t have to be forced. No force.

Participant: It’s funny. I can’t tonight, I can’t retain any of the things that you’re saying, at all.

David: Tonight?

Participant: Yeah, I’m hearing them, and I can’t connect them in a logical sequence at all.

David: Yeah I’m having trouble even speaking that way….

Participant: Because underneath is much…way stronger….

David: Underneath the words? Lovely…..

There are certain moods that necessitate; that is there are certain spiritual moods that necessitate withdrawing from that discursive reasoning part of the brain. That is, if you were to really enforce yourself in that way, you’d actually be detracting from the enlightenment of the moment. I have faith that whatever happens is the blossoming of the flower. I don’t question it. Some nights there will be a great discourse, some nights it will be feeble.

Does that make sense? It’s not feeble? [laughter]

But you know what I do, the secret? I remain with what is, constantly observing internally. I know that the only place that really means something is the subject, it’s the subjective dimension. So I don’t want to look good, I don’t want to come across as being something, because all of that would betray the truth of inwardness. It’s beyond inwardness, but we say inwardness just to point in a direction, it’s on the outside too. It spills out from the inside to the outside and then it magnifies itself on the outside, on the external. Does that make sense? See I’m looking for it now, not seeking for it, everything in me is apprehensive in a way; maybe apprehension isn’t the right word; everything is excited about the possibility of the revelation of Truth in this moment. That it can only occur in this effortless present moment, and therefore I have to be somewhat excited and attentive about it.

I haven’t been trapped by anyone’s theology, anyone’s belief systems, religious, spiritual, political, economical. So I’m not looking for any of that. I haven’t read something, formed a picture of it in my mind, and then seek for it, seek for some experience that I’ve imagined through something I’ve read. So I’m free of that. I truly am. I’m not special because of it, but that’s really what’s essential about…me…If there’s a me. There is a me, that’s the me. The me is that whole passionate interest in something that is transcendental, something that is beyond. Not beyond above and far away, that’s not what I mean. Let’s trim all these phrases and make sure we don’t run away with the wrong understanding.

Just feel in yourself as you are. There’s nothing you have to do, there’s nothing you have to undo. That’s openness. When you realize that, you open. There’s nothing to be done, nothing to be undone. So this is an atmosphere where you breath in freedom; freedom from the known. Freedom from conditioning. From thought, fear, attachment, detachment. Freedom from enlightenment. That’s joy, Ananda, bliss.

So we’ve cut through all those samadhis. Fast. All those transcendental awakenings. We cut through them fast. You may say, “But I want to linger, I want to experience that, it’s supposed to be so beautiful to have these deep awakenings….” It is. But it’s better to just be in bliss. Immortal Bliss.
It’s intimate. This atmosphere is very unique. You can’t get it in any church. I could tell you a few other things you’ll get in some churches…[laughter] But you won’t get that silent fullness that’s welcoming with no conditions. A silence that affirms nothing other than itself. It will not affirm some object; some bible or some book. The truth is written in you. Truth was written by you, for you.

Truth is not the property of anyone. I read something the other day about the “word of god,” and it has no meaning. “I read the word of god…” It has no meaning. It’s not that it’s wrong, it doesn’t have any meaning….

People who speak like that are mind worshippers. Word worshippers. They haven’t gone beyond. If you’ve actually gone there, how could you ever erect anything between you and that? If you’ve gone there, you’ve become that. If you’ve traveled the spiritual path, and you’ve reached the Essence, capital “E.”
and you’ve really seen it, you’ve become it.

Are you with me?

And you can appear to be an idiot in this state….huh? A fool. Stupid. Wonder if there is any relationship between the word stupid and Stupa?

It’s the erudite types you have to worry about, not the stupids. It’s the clever ones, be careful. The divine with give you a lobotomy when you see it totally, so that your personal memory can’t cling to it, which means that it can neither be remembered nor forgotten. You follow that? Something will happen inside the brain structure itself that doesn’t allow you to either attach or to remember It. If you can remember it, then you can forget it.

Participant: Remember what?

David: The Divine. See? You’re in lobotomy. You’re in that state now.

Remember what? What else would I be talking about at this gathering? See? Case in point. What are we talking about?
We only talk about one thing here! [laughter]

Go ahead ask me, “Are you still talking about it?”

So the brain would actually have to change in order to accommodate this all the time; if it was to become a full time reality the brain would have to change its habitual functioning. It would have to in some sense break down; because the brain’s very much like a tape recorder, it’s a machine that records and then processes perception and experience. So for this “thing,” if you can call it a thing, you’d have to say capital T H I N G, if this THING was to exist completely in a person’s awareness that brain that is recording, processing, knowing etc. That brain would have to come to some sort of down fall. I mean how can that which is function in time in space live along side that which is beyond time and space? How can they be neighbors? How can they be coexistent with each other? The transcendental would have to take away some aspect of the functioning of the mind. It would have to absorb it or break it down in some way.

And as that was lived in for some time, if that were to be able to be lived in, the case of a human individual, if he or she could abide in that absolute state of absolute consciousness for some time then eventually that Absolute state would have to become totally identical to the world. The world of experience, the world that it once transcended; so the Absolute at some point transcends everything and effects the brain in that way, but later on, it becomes more integrated with functioning. So there’s no discrepancy now between the so-called awakened state and a non-awakened state. At one time there may have been a huge difference between them, according to your experience. But as time goes on it becomes more and more one with the world of change, of perception, experience , thus functioning.