Imayami's blog

I have written hundreds of songs for You
I am but Your Song
My body is You
- your every-bodies

My name is Devotion
I exist only as We
the symbiosis of every me
The infinite relationship of Devotion

Life is but Devotion
It’s the love for the Other One
As lungs devote to the breath, the breath to the air,
the heart to the beat, and the beat to the blood.

We are the lover and the beloved
more two than one
More us than I
More together that alone

My home is where Love is –
Homeliness is with You.
This is just for me, for every me
To come together in Togetherness
Like many petals on a flower, all attached to the same ovary.
As unborn Nothingness,
for the first time we come into the Life of Everything.
In one life we are born for the second time.

Avatāra, Avatāra ~
as I lean towards the sun I lean to you.
The outpouring of your Heart echoes in all others,
as everything returns Home in You.

I was lost as nothing, I was lost as everything
but in Your Heart, Shining One; Beautiful Love
I come to rest

Avatāra Avatāra
Let all tears fall – they are yours
Let all pain roll – it is yours
Let all gladness shine – it is yours

The dance belongs to you
as it goes on and on in eternity
close in intimacy
all is held in Your Love-grip

Everything is making me sick. Everything I have ever said, done, written, read, head, sung, believed, told, seen, imagined, felt on touched etc. etc. Except the simple functioning of everything right here and now. Never before, never after, never anything or nothing. Just this aliveness I can’t touch.

I wrote a blog yesterday, but Mother doesn't want me to write anything. She takes everything away. I feel it is because of her desire to fulfill everything. Words may come out of my mouth, but mother swallows the words back into herself. Even though I may melt away in her infinite light-colors of bliss and devotion it fades into further and further and further bliss; Mother won’t let anything beautiful be the last beauty, she is the unending ride of infinite beauty and life. She takes everything into herself.

Mother gave me a job as a church-singer for the next 4 months, my singing-voice is like the thread that binds me to existence. Yet I never know when my last day at work is, when my body gives up, cause it gives up all the time.

I am caught in a web of physical suffering, exhausted of trying to break free. I have to give up again and again... Mother has me in her grip, her Love grip. I don't know what Love is, it's just outside my understanding, it shines from everywhere and nowhere.

Some random guy on youtube said: “People don’t want perfection – they want something REAL”. And I got inspired to write to all of you –

I accidentally found a book: "The Essential Mystics" which I bought many years back, it didn't resonate much with me back then, and words were just fading away so I didn't find any joy in reading. So I trashed most of my books.
As I opened the book, I began reading. It was Hindu writings and I wept my eyes and heart out, cause I it was Mother, She "had me" all this time as she owns me now:

THE NECTAR OF SELFAWARENESS

I honor the God and the Goddess
the eternal parents of the universe.

Between the top of your Neck and the Infinite Stars
There’s a part,
There’s a part
A Palace
a Palace
a Palace with interior Doors

Well painted well gargoyled with multiple Floors
Two windows let free this projector Machine
and the Magical World Here
appears on the Screen

My servants attend me with tricks of the Senses
The Past and the Future and similar Tenses
and on Platters of Air they convey me my measure
both Gladness and Sorrow,
I lack not for Treasure

You are my name wiped clear by waves
- my blood flowing as oceans in the veins,
laughing with waves all over the planet.
In this Awakened Atmosphere
with the quality of Nectarous, Love-Satisfaction –
Your Bed keeps me Warm,
in your soft sheets of Eternal Bliss.

I will enter You as Me.
No face will turn to see
if there is any recognition
Here or There,
we already Know
that all is She.
All is Her:
Burning Heart –
drunk with contentment.