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By Sean Devlin 2 hours 14 min ago

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Garden of Verse

At the garden’s edge
bending at waist
with forward weight shifting to toes
and nose inside the pedals of the flower
breathing in the fragrance of angels
which is received by the heart and lung
and broadcasted like sunlight
to tissue and cells
and the buzz of bees
gathering pollen and nectar
for the hive of the soul
so its honey may drip
into the mouths of the awakened
so they may taste the divine
and smell the scent of angels
whose fragrance fills my heart and lung
and like a sermon of sunlight
broadcasted to tissue and cell
to pen
to page
and these words like flowers
sit in the garden of verse
for you to lean forward
with your nose between the pedals of the words

By candacezyk 6 days 10 hours ago

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I had been looking at work in/with David and how, if at all, that was any different from my old suffering sadhana in which viewing the world, it was a horror, people, mechanical horrors, and my life to be something to escape from, something below standards and impoverished…..
There had been this meeting in my mind, emotions and body and the thought….it's all life, its' just life. And that, a reasoned approach to happiness….
Today- happiness, bliss, peaceful energy….and the recognition: this is what it is to go beyond the measureable!
Omg. Thank you David. Thank you community. So grateful for this…

By candacezyk 1 month 2 weeks ago

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I love you

Tuesday, November 28, 2017
10:48 AM

I love you
I love you
I love you
And refuse to count the ways
I don't have to spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways
Because to despise is not to see
A double bind is an opportunity for the Zen koan

There is no loss and no gain, there is, is
There is powerlessness and power both contained in one mystery?
They operate at the same time
In each victim of subjectivity

There are no remedies and there are remedies galore
There is not help yet always help
There is you, me, us
There is functioning and the inability to function

Judgement is a sword, stabbing stabbing (it stabs the heart, does it?)
Operating in one it operates in all
It's judgement I don't need
Everyone everything else is needed, wanted
There are social gatherings and then there is intimacy
Craven and cravings
Let it be, may it burn

By candacezyk 1 month 2 weeks ago

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Tuesday, November 28, 2017
8:08 AM

Last night and today I realized that all the anger, the rage, all of the negative and dysfunctional behaviors are the same as love. I remember loving intensely as a child. I remember all of that getting thwarted and turned into hate with the mind's existential conclusion( I guess)…"All is Lost."
I seemed to hear David encouraging relationship….and from the beginning of being here, things started happening with people. At first, I would experience whatever it is that happens when we meditate together, and, going out into the world, and, it was almost like there was an explosion of some kind, and, people would "appear" and the most marvelous interactions would follow…What I mean by marvelous is that I could notice or observe that these interactions were something new. That is, they were happening despite the judgmental-ness, firmly entrenched, tendencies toward people, hating etc. they didn't spring from the normal operating system in other words. This is truth that I now realize I do hunger for.

Over Thanksgiving I realized for the first time why( for me) the Holidays and (perhaps for others) can be so uncomfortable(?) to say the least. What I saw was that in so many ways I don't even know the people that I live with. (And we had it pared down to literally no "company",) just the ones in the immediate family. We live together. I seemed to be the one causing the argument but this is something known, seen and despaired over from an early age.

Another Teacher used the word "egocentric" to describe the personality, and it seemed that the energies busted me through egocentricity or an egocentricity. This is a fulfillment that I've desired definitely.

There has been a sadhana (but I didn't use the word until 2009) for sure. Now I see that an almost involuntary (just like David said!) process happened to me from early on, very early. But there was no understanding for what happened to me, the experiences, or anything else. When I got" here" it was clear, I lived in confusion sounding like a fool and truly behaving like a fool trying to explain or share with others. I went through feeling intensely embarrassed over "myself" again now, almost like a PTSD manifesting.

There was a realization that the samskaras never go away, really, and that they can always be there. This is directly contrary to what I had been taught which was the divine Light dissolves them. Maybe it does. I don't know, but what had been excruciating for me was trying to fix "myself". I thought I would get fixed and strived for that, struggled agonized, failed. If only I GOT fixed everything would be all right was the mantra. Later was the experience that "everyone" is suffering, and, there, I buckled under.
On and on it seemed to go. When my son in effect told me I only thought about myself and this was quite a while back, you know, it was a shock, and I denied it. How could I have been egocentric while striving so hard to fix myself for my own and the well being of those around me?

This entire psychic phenomena peculiar to "me" was seen through over the Holiday- this With David's help, with the help from "I am not alone in this anymore or even on my own," (which could never be tolerated, and I felt was just a huge failing, and with this failing I could never be "on a sadhana"). The entirety of what could be termed normal neurosis with some psychotic breaks, was gone through. I experienced even deeper the tenderness and regard my (ex) (but I could never have an ex), husband always had for me. I felt I had beaten him almost to death in time, in the timeliness or the rotten way I knew I always spoiled everything but cleverly tried to function on…I mean this is ego, it does keep one going. I did a little research on the internet about the way boys are raised and got some insight into the pain of that. I admitted I had never understood men. A consideration for the tenderness of the "masculine" energy came about and I see that I really want to protect this aspect of men so to speak even if they keep it hidden or, that, in my perception, it seems so.

What is most dear is hidden. I see that in both my son and my husband.

I watched a very old video called "Asylum," the work of R.D.Laing whom I admired in my college years and post graduate and who had everything to do with me dropping a career (right or wrong, that happened), and, of course, to do that is fatal in this world. You've got to make a living. Obviously not, as somehow I am still solvent.

What I got from the video was that being very deeply disturbed is a definition. What I see is that- that kind of madness is a" yin" to society's "yang", and I saw the fact that society is very frightened to see its own madness. These adorable creatures were simply treated with kindness by Laing who appeared mad himself (to me in the video), and, by trying to follow them, I found extremes of intelligence along with the same issues in trying to live together that everyone has. So what was realized was- that which we call madness is reflection of "normal madness", all part of what you could label duality or relativity. The mad are quite unsure of "who they are" and "normies" perhaps think that they know, at the extremes of the continuum.

I just wanted to share some of these things. There is more, and maybe the expression of that will follow.

By Imayami 1 month 3 weeks ago

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Notise me now
closely
very carefully
give your full attention to me

I am the functioning og sanity
everything is seen as it is
in it's nature as me
and in it's escape from me

You've lived the life of escape
you can't see me now
cause your insanity is pulling you apart
but theres a spark, and that is the doorway

You see clear
I am the Pure Man
from whom light is shed
turn your face towards my sky
in me you will recognize the Old Golden Land

You know me deeper
than the depths of yourself
what you've known before
you know now

Sanity functioning here before you
turning around all insanity
from this world and through the other worlds
this is what's most real to you

notise me now
and you will notice yourself
revealed before your naked eye
I will clothe you with my sanely
oh, you've never worn anything before

I will build up what the insane broke down
i will make everything right for you, you know
nothing was quiet right and at ease
before you found me

I found you long before you found me,
you know
I am the first and I am the last
Theres nothing else but Me

Sanely the light of words and truth
flow from the highest realms
through your throat they emerge
like springs and waves rolling on your tongue and lips

I have bathed in the Sea of Old
as a child
I always came back to you

through the years of increasing insanity
your sane drop of gold
fell on my tongue
to flower through my being
into my brain

I have never lived
I have never been real
I was immersed in the disturbing insane

I stand before you, broken down
I put my feet into your golden waters
one drop goes all the way
to put my feet into your sea of liquid golden light
is to have it reflect up through my entire body-mind

all in me responds fully to the Sanity of you
and my every cell is like water-lillys
blooming in your easy waters
for the first time in a lifetime

I turn to you for my upliftment
my contentment, my clarity, my life:
the birth of my sane functioning

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